Incarcerated Child... Nothing to Live For

I grew up with one of the longest wish list in the world and never received a single thing on it. In elementary and junior high school I was the class clown without telling a single joke. I was ashamed, embarrassed and hurt by the way I was forced to accept this type of abuse. The girls in my classes weren't interested at all and out of the entire school I possessed one friend. I was officially what you call a VUP (very unimportant person), and life as I knew it became worthless. Killing myself was never an option, it’s a cowardly act that doesn't fit my character. The reality of it was that I didn't want to die, I wanted to live and at the same time be alive… but I didn't know how. I wanted to feel loved enough by my mother to send me to school in a satisfactory and comfortable fashion, loved enough for her to sacrifice the things that made her happy in order to make me happy. When that never occurred I figured the streets had the filling to satisfy my needs and I dived in head first.

At 15-years-old I didn't think I would see the age of 25. My relationship with some of the associates I had in my life painted that grim picture every day that I came outside. Not to mention the many times my mother told me I would never amount to anything. I knew nothing about having dreams and aspirations growing up as a child because they were never topics of discussion in my home. Without that experience and an absent father I realized I had to find my own way in this life. My father was and still is incarcerated so proper parenting never played a role as I grew both physically and mentally. On top of feeling alone I didn't know who, what, when, where, why, or how to do anything. Because of my ignorance to these things I chose a world I really didn't understand the consequences of living in. But since I didn't have anything to lose or live for, I didn't care. It was that act of carelessness that landed me in near death situations and prison for almost 20 years of my life.

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SOMETIMES WE NEED A WAKE UP CALL....... IT PAYS!!



The reality is we must understand that those who entertain us do live real lives. Their choice to be entertainers or provide entertainment is the same as our choice to work, have a profession, or be an entrepreneur. I'm not understanding why "we", those that choose or don't choose a movie, television show, book or live performances become critiques on the lives of those making a living. Yes, "we" have a choice, watch or don't watch, read or don't read, buy a ticket for the performance or not...... But to be brutal in our analysis of the individual is short of being cruel.

Let's just think about someone seeing you in your chosen profession or job and blasting your performance, your reasons for choosing the profession, and your quality of life. Where you live and why you live there, who you date, marry, or associate with, how you may have become the icon or failure you are, and the best one ........ the image you portray for your race, gender, religion. Why do we feel the need to step into the lives of the entertainer, the athletes, or anyone else who we often observe at their job........ none who have in anyway demanded our intensive observation. They really don't need that audience, after all if "we" truly feel that way about them why bother mentioning what they do.

Does the ratings of a show, the money made, or the awards given affect the "naysayers" in any way? Sure it gives a buzz for the media. The hypes give a form of publicity that is free and yes raises curiosity. The stir of talk positive or negative is free promotion...... so yes bad or good, the entertainment world wins. But that winning doesn't often give props to the individual actor, writer, musician, performer, or athlete. They live as we do..... for the pay. Yes, the ego is coated by the fame but the reason they stand in the spotlight and take it all in is for the money. The means to their living..... to gain wealth, to live above the poverty level, to be comfortable in the world. I don't see anything more or less different than those of us that go to work seeking recognition for a promotion, an elevation or that almighty raise.

So...... before you berate, belittle, criticize the work of another, be sure it is the work and not the character you seek to destroy. They too have a life behind the screen, off the field, off the stage, and they live after they put the pen down. Their family lives through the tabloids voice, the ignorant posts on the internet, the paparazzi and fans. Your family knows you go to work but never know how well you perform until your money is increased. Good or bad, opportunities will be taken and we all hope that they wouldn't degrade "us" as people. Reality is often degrading, it often touches what most don't want to face. The News, the best selling novel, the latest television series, the negatives are attracted because the reality in them all exists. We don't blame the newscaster, nor should we blame the author or the performer. It's merely their job, the profession they chose, and it's what they get paid to do....... the better they perform...... the more you will see their names, their production, and yes they are paid well.

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