So I’m conversing with a man about voting and how serious of an effect it has on our community. He says that I am part of the reason we live in the conditions in which we do (poor housing, minimum wage jobs, not enough jobs, even crime). He goes on stating how I instigate what goes on in our neighborhoods by not participating in electing the mayors, governors, judges, and city council men/women that have our best interest at heart. I laughed when he said “our best interest at heart”. Sorry to say, but I have never voted and as long as politics remain the same I will never place a ballot. The candidates running for these offices do and say what needs to be done and said to secure that position of power. If you have no money to attend the expensive fund-raisers or sponsor their campaigns… who are you? There isn't a politician that has been elected into any office in Philadelphia that knows me or my family exists. So how any of them could be concerned about my health and wealth is hard to fathom.

It bewilders me how politicians want you to vote for actions that will never trickle down the ladder and reach the lower class. Everything promoted and promised like “safer streets” benefits the middle class and higher up. The streets of the lower class people have never been safe, and the badges of power have been passed from hand to hand for way over 100 years. The speeches given are the same and so are the results. Residents have been hearing about and awaiting a change for as long as I can remember being a child. What would I be voting for, hope? Many of those who do vote do so by learning of the candidate through television commercials. Personally, they don’t know the character, demeanor, or lifestyle of who it is they are or have voted for. During my incarceration I was told that I no longer had the right to vote because of being convicted as a felon.

It’s no surprise that the Philadelphia police use excessive force to subdue and arrest a man or young adult considered to be a suspect of a crime committed.  We see it on the local news and read about it in the newspapers all the time. The year of 2013 displayed many examples of the “shoot first, ask questions later” term. It was also a year of clarity for those who do not know that there is no such thing as a shoot to wound rule. “Shoot to stop”, however, is the rule exercised by the officers of the Philadelphia Police Department who are trained to fire center mass (torso) when eliminating a situation involving an alleged suspect with a weapon…  or not. But for some reason or another, these young men aren't just being shot to be stopped, they’re being shot to death. The excuse for shots fired used by those who serve and protect citizens is that these victims all brandished a lethal weapon threatening bodily harm to them. Now maybe I’m a little slow but even the dumbest person knows that if you point a gun at a cop (not to mention discharge) chances are you’re going to get shot. “Man pulls gun, we fired back”. That was the headline of a news article published by the Philadelphia Daily News concerning a 21-year-old male who was shot five times, once in the back and four times in the legs… the back of his legs.

The news article states, “Police heard gunfire and spotted a male running with a gun in hand. Officers ordered him to drop the gun several times, he refused and instead ran towards officers with the gun pointed in their direction and they fired for fear of their safety”. Fortunately, this victim, among the seven shot by police during that week survived the ordeal. I am not excluding the fact that the victim(s) were armed with automatic weapons illegally, but right is right and wrong is wrong. If he was running toward officers he would have been shot in his body’s front and not back. There wasn't anyone else in the vicinity that was shot or injured but the victim in this confrontation, and he has been charged with assault on two police officers, without firing a shot at authorities. His bail is at $1,000,000 because police have painted the picture of him attempting to fire upon them.  Within the last five years there have been eight cops shot in this corrupt city, yet within the last three years there have been 88 police shootings. The Commissioner says “assaults on officers are factors that cause police to shoot first”. He says “shoot to kill is a myth” but I say it exist.

I grew up with one of the longest wish list in the world and never received a single thing on it. In elementary and junior high school I was the class clown without telling a single joke. I was ashamed, embarrassed and hurt by the way I was forced to accept this type of abuse. The girls in my classes weren't interested at all and out of the entire school I possessed one friend. I was officially what you call a VUP (very unimportant person), and life as I knew it became worthless. Killing myself was never an option, it’s a cowardly act that doesn't fit my character. The reality of it was that I didn't want to die, I wanted to live and at the same time be alive… but I didn't know how. I wanted to feel loved enough by my mother to send me to school in a satisfactory and comfortable fashion, loved enough for her to sacrifice the things that made her happy in order to make me happy. When that never occurred I figured the streets had the filling to satisfy my needs and I dived in head first.

At 15-years-old I didn't think I would see the age of 25. My relationship with some of the associates I had in my life painted that grim picture every day that I came outside. Not to mention the many times my mother told me I would never amount to anything. I knew nothing about having dreams and aspirations growing up as a child because they were never topics of discussion in my home. Without that experience and an absent father I realized I had to find my own way in this life. My father was and still is incarcerated so proper parenting never played a role as I grew both physically and mentally. On top of feeling alone I didn't know who, what, when, where, why, or how to do anything. Because of my ignorance to these things I chose a world I really didn't understand the consequences of living in. But since I didn't have anything to lose or live for, I didn't care. It was that act of carelessness that landed me in near death situations and prison for almost 20 years of my life.

I chose to be like me because I chose not to be like you...

You know who I’m talking to and, why I’m talking too...

In 1950, two million was the count for people housed in the city of Philadelphia. Since then, that number has done nothing but decrease due to the ploys used to keep the numbers beneath a particular quota. The Black Community, give the city a 44.3 percentage rate out of 100 according to the United States Census Bureau of 2012, which means that 55.7 percent are of other races (Latino, Caucasian, Asian, Korean, etc.). That does not include the folks who chose not to participate in the census, or the people who provide shelter to family and friends. The two, would give the Black Community a percentage rate well over the fifty mark it’s been kept under. Blacks possess a multitude of threats and must be contained and controlled by any means necessary. For one, if we are allowed to continue to reproduce in the numbers in which we do today then the American Government will eventually have to do something about that. The population would be enormous and who would have the power to control a misdirected and deceived people in numbers surpassing the two million mark, in one city? The higher power (I do not speak of God) finally came up with a solution and did something about it in 1985.

The creation, of the opportunity to get rich quick and obtain the finer things in life is one of the most brilliant ideas to ever come to the mind of man. Not only was the idea brilliant, it’s effective and has been for almost forty years. An average of 200 plus black men, women and children die annually from gun violence alone in Philadelphia. Last year the city recorded 329 murders, as of December 2, we are at 225 murders for this year (2013). City officials will tell you that this is a good thing to have a low number such as this year’s murder rate. But how is that good when in two years our city suffered the lost of over 600 family members and/or friends. Now take a minute to think about how populated the city would be without these violent acts that end in fatalities. The city would be populated with African Americans who would no longer be the poverty party but the rulers of a place they consider to be home. Illegal justice was necessary and murder became the answer to prevent this from ever occurring. This solution is what folks including myself call, genocide. The consequences for murder or any crime in Philadelphia depends on the victim and/or the violator. I wonder why that is?

      A dream is a series of thoughts, images, and sensations that occur in a person's mind while asleep. However, a dream is also one's deepest desire, ambition, or vision. It is a passion we hope and pray to become reality one day. A dream chaser is a planned crewed suborbital and orbital spaecraft. On the flip side of that it's the one who follows these desires, these ambitions, these visions they have. The one who takes the risk and makes the sacrifices to get the job done. That could mean making transitions such as quitting a 9 to 5 or separating self from family and friends. The responsibility Dream Chasers acquire once the decision is made is very heavy and will have an affect on their future rather they succeed or fail.

      Dream Chasers are the ones who help dreamers keep the faith that dreams do come true.

At one point in time I kind of thought talent and skill were equal to one another, but as I've grown I now understand the difference between the two. Talent to many folks means the behaviors you find yourself doing often or repetitiously, a recurring pattern of thought or feeling that can be applied productively. I personally disagree with that because I believe those are skills used to perfect the talent you possess. They are a few of the tools used to make the cliche' "practice makes perfect" a fact and not just some saying. Another definition for talent is what you are and are good at, an innate ability as for artistic accomplishments. Now that, I do believe has talent written all over it. Talent to me means your capabilities and ability to perform what you have spent so much of your time polishing. It is the dream we believe will take us from one point to the next, reaching that level of success.

      This is like faith without works. Talent comes and goes to many folks. It’s like the saying “If you don’t use it you’ll lose it”. Talent could be a number of things. Singing, carpentry, sports, acting, painting, dancing, the list goes on. However, they are all dead without skill, they’re nothing, useless. Imagine hiring a contractor to build you a home from the ground up. He gets the blueprint but reads it wrong and therefore builds it incorrect. He has the talent to be a contractor but lacks the skill of a contractor. Skill is the hard work and long hours you spend studying, grooming, and shaping what it is you know how to do. Again, skill is the practice in the cliché “practice makes perfect”. It’s what we do over and over again until we get it right and know that it’s right.

      Using a fundraising site provided by the internet (Indiegogo.com) I set a goal of $2500 to assist me in the publishing and distribution of my second book. The allotted time to reach this goal was 90 days and as of today (5/20/2012) I have only recieved a contribution of $20. Of that 90 day span I now have 30 days left to have a successful campaign, not going to happen. My ignorance of how to plan a promising fundraiser has become an experience and well taught lesson for me. Although I used every social site I am affiliated with to market and request support from fellow associates and family I was unable to accumulate the necessary funds. Where did I go wrong you ask?

      Well, I have no friends and in order to put any fundraiser in motion you need to have folks that love and care about not just you but what you're doing. Without friends and family your fundraiser will flop and you will be forced to add this to your list of failures rather you want to or not. Funding yourself raises nothing but questions that you will struggle to answer. A support team and/or system is very much necessary so consider this when planning a fundraiser for whatever reason or cause. This blog is for the novice planner preparing to make the same mistake as I did. Everyone needs a spine so I advise having a strong backbone to walk with you through your journey to success.